Yesterday, we dove headfirst into the (controversial) assertion that there’s no such thing as “the truth”.
One of the implied issues we (sort of) brought up is that “truth” is frequently defined by the one seen as being “in authority” and the other person is expected to acknowledge the authority by agreeing with the authority’s “truth”.
We saw this often during our corporate days – a person’s perceived ability to tell the truth often measured by their position on an org chart or by which way the money flows. This doesn’t work – it just builds resentment and creates gross inefficiency.
(Of course, the mainstream media never, ever, ever tries to impose “truth” over society….LOL)
Also remember that a criminal defense attorney’s job is not, contrary to popular belief, to prove their client (the defendant) is innocent. Their role is to create enough reasonable doubt that the jury does not convict.
That’s for good reason.
Let’s get to the bottom of it.
Today, The Morning Adam™ cuts to the chase with a few openers that help you break through the wall of resistance, adroitly sidestep Confirmation Bias, and get others to see your point of view without feeling beaten down or overpowered:
When trying to get through to the representative of a company that is disputing your claim to service, separate the person from the issue at hand – Ross Jeffries calls this “telling them a SAAB story”.
Be sure to build common ground.
Here’s a simple, three-step common-ground builder that doesn’t require a lot of practice to get right:
- Repeat back to them what they just said: “Let me make sure I heard you correctly. What I think you’re saying is (paraphrase their statement).” IMPORTANT: don’t read it back word-for-word. You’re gaining clarity, not mocking them!
- Next, point out the facts that are not in dispute between the two of you – and gain their re-agreement on these points. This gets you two on the same page and builds common ground.
- Then introduce the conclusions you gain from those same undisputed facts – and ask their opinion on your viewpoint.
Do all this in a calm, even voice, with a pleasant expression and normal (not excessive) eye contact, without repeating their name over and over again, putting your hand on their shoulder, or leaning in too close.
Also, don’t “appeal to their sense of reason.” They already have one, and are using it, in this moment.
By following these three simple steps, you give the other person the option to convert themselves to your point of view, without having to “admit” they’re “wrong”.
Plus, should you find yourself converting yourself to THEIR point of view, not only can you do so with confidence, but you also gain their respect (and the respect of others) as an open-minded person. (Be sure to allow this for yourself!)
THAT is thought leadership.
One more question to ask yourself:
Does it really matter?
The world is a big place.
Are you on trial here? (If you are, remember reasonable doubt; if not, chill out.)
Will the world still turn, will your business continue to grow, and will anyone hold it against you, if others see things differently?
You know the answer.